I cant believe it, I haven't seen Mr. Jeff King since Christmas Break and I haven't talked to him since his birthday in March. I A- feel like a bad friend and B- feel like a lot of things have happened since then and I don't know what it will be like to see him. If he shows up to my ward today it will be the first time I will have seen him since I officially decided that I can't go down the road of thinking every time he comes home to visit we can just be happy and maybe go out. It just can't happen and I know that... but there is still that feeling when he post on Facebook that he is HOME that I can't hide. I instantly fall back into that deep whole of love and I can't find my way out.
I honestly know that a long distance relationship could never work for me and I know that he is seeing girls back in D.C. So I don't know why I still have these feeling but I do. It is so hard but, it is like every time he comes back in town that nothing happened in the past and he still lives 4 streets over. But it isn't the same given my previous comment of that we haven't spoke since his birthday. Obviously things have changed and I just don't want to face it.
I think he will be one of those guys in my life that every time I see or talk to him i will always have these feelings of love and maybe they aren't even feelings of love but, knowing that he is always there for me and we use to always talk and see each other and now not so much.
He is the guy that when you haven't seen them in a very long time that when you see him for the first time all you want to do, no matter where you are, you both scream each others name, start running towards each other and hug for what seems like eternity. I think that may happen today even though we will be in church when we see each other.
I guess what I am trying to say in all of this that Jeff Jeff is so important to me and I MISS HIM!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment