Wow what a huge change. I finally feel free. I am comfirtable with myself and I can do what I want. It is crazy how my telling someone how you really feel keeps you from trippin. I cant believe that I was so honest not only with Daniel but with myself. I havent been that honest for a long time. I love this feeling. It is a new found love that I havent ever really felt before. But can I just say how much I enjoy this. I have just broken up with this guy that I thought was going to be the one and I feel like I could just skip and sing all day long because I am so happy. I cant even explain how much this means to me.
So this is the down low on what happened:
Daniel and I havent talked in almost 3 weeks and so I just took it that we were officially over, well after a week of not knowing I needed answers. So I asked him if he would be honest with me because I had to be honest with him. Hew said that he would and so I had to do ithe hardest thing I have ever had to do. I asked him what the hell was going on?
He replied with that he was busy and had other stuff on his mind. I called a bullshit and re asked the question and when I did I added more details. I told him that I like stending time and talking to him.l I also added in there that I LIKE HIM. what the hell was I thinking, I dont know, but it was worth it. So of course he doesnt like me, but that is fine and we worked things out. Well as much as they can with a guy who shattered your heart in a million pieces.
He said after all of this that he wants to still hang out and that he enjoys the times that we do hang out and he wants it to happen more often. I dont know how that is going to happen, because, I cant be another OLIVIA for him. I have invested too much effort into this and it was all a game. I hope that one day we will be able to talk to each other and hang out but for now I am just glad that I dont want to KILL him.
Hopefully we can be friends and communicate. This was a big step in our communication skills with each other. I love that I am able to communicate with him and myself more openly now and that I am comfortable doing it. I love what I have become.
