I just want to CRY!!!

That is all i have to say today. I have a massive migraine and no meds to help. Why do I have to get these head aches it makes me so scared. Everytime I get one it takes me back to the hospital bed 5 years ago. I seriously thought I was going to die. And then of course that brings me back to Mothers day 3 years ago when I lost my grandmother. She was there every moment of me being in the hospital. I wish everything could go back to the way things were 6 years ago and make the choice to be healthy. like i said i just want ti cry...

College Life

Wow this college life is very interesting. Lets just say the shit is hitting the fan this week and last weekend. Drama Drama Drama!!!! Damn roommates fighting a not obeying the rules. I thought we all were going to get in trouble but thank goodness only the ones who friends they were got in trouble. sleep overs are not acceptable at park place. just to let everyone know. I hope that things will get better in the next few days.

I don't know what to do . . .

I feel like everything is passing by so fast. I have a boyfriend then I don't. I'm in high school and now I'm graduated. I had long hair and now it is short. And now I live at home but not for much longer. everything just needs to slow down.

I'm really tired but I just want everything to go back 10 years and hope that some people would have made better and less selfish choices. I can't wait to leave home and move out but SO scared at the same time.

Love Always,
Danika

SO.......

So there is a new problem in the world of Dani's Blog.

There are too many guys but not enough that really like me or that don't think of me as their sister (well little sis.)But they are all so cute. Maybe it is just the fact that I am finally old enough to make up my own mind and date guys who I want to, why oh why?

So today around 12:30 pm, I butt dialed my ex boyfriend on total accident. We started dating around my birthday of this year and at first I only liked the idea of him an d not him as a boyfriend or a person. But after getting wonderful text every morning say things like "Good morning Beautiful" and calling me "Sweetheart" every day I started to really like him.

I don't mean like just like him no it was a fantastic thing going on. So it was one of those relationships that you here about in movies. One person likes the other person but it takes the other person a little longer to warm up. Well lets just say I was the one that had to warm up to him.

So we finally go out on a date. well I would not call it a date we sat on opposite couches and sides of the room. So there wasn't much going on, on this date. So we watched A Walk to Remember and texted through the whole movie. Well at lease I know he liked the movie because he owned it too.

So it just happened to be the monthly GIRLS NIGHT at the Salazar residence and so 15 ladies were in the garage waiting to hear how it when, but It did not go very good. So after the movie I shipped him out as fast as I could and went to the party.

When I went out to the garage everyone asked me if I took him home and of course NOT it was terrible, I made him walk. He is 20 years old if he is not cool enough to have a car he can walk.

So of course every one said that I should have given him a ride home but then some people were on my side. So after the initial date we still talked all day every day for hours on end. And after about 3 more days of talking and him asking to hang out again we finally did that next Friday.

We had an amazing night. movie, cuddling, holding hands, and wait for it. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
He asked "just wondering what would you do if I kissed you? just wondering?"
UMMM well 1st he sent the text to my best friend and then it finally made it to me. and I said not yet. It is not that I did not want to I just was not going to kiss him on the 1st official date.

The next day we went out again and at the end I was going to kiss him but he got out of the car so fast that I couldn't. But I did have time to say if you don't come to church We can't hang out until you do.

Well that did not work we haven't talked since until today. I guess I accidental called him but I did not know so he texted me. And of course that brought back all of the feelings. We talked for a bit but then he just left me hanging again.

Stupid boys! I knew this was going to happen, I knew that when he texted me I would get hurt all over again. Please make up your mind. And if you are going to try to make me jealous don't bring some ugly girl to church and hang all over her, because that does not make me jealous it just makes me miss the use to bes.

Love Always,
Danika

Blah Blah Blah....

That is all I have been here for the past few months. I am done with high school and ready to move and to do better and bigger things. I want to move out right now and go to Snow and just have fun and not deal with stupid, crush stilling so called best friends. Ugh, can i just tell you how stupid girls can be. I totally had him first and I was even the one who introduced him to her. what a witch. So that is why I'm writing tonight.

Just to let everyone know that there are very rude and stupid people in my life and you know what if you haven't talked to me in a year or longer don't start know, just because I am graduating.

You guys don't even send a card on Christmas, birthdays, or any other holiday but you expect me to still talk to you. Well you know what I am done. I have had it. Stupid Salazar family I don't want you to talk to me any more. And you know what if you know that I haven't been talking to some one because they shut me out of their life don't tell them what I am doing in my life.

If I was important enough to them they would have been talking to me through out these past almost 3 years. So basically all I have to say to those crazy J.A.s is don't talk to me please because all you do is make it worse. I can't believe people, my own flesh and blood could cut me and my family out of their lives. But it happened and now I have a new family and they are amazing.

I love that my new family loves and supports me. I know that they will always be there for me. Because I am really getting sick of having to scan a parking lot before I go in some where to make sure that people who I really don't like and that are basically dead to me are there.

Now I know this sounds like a totally hater/ downer but this is a way that I can get all of this dang frustration out. I could sit here for hours telling everyone how horrible my OLD family is but they suck and I am done. Just don't call, text, email, facebook, or anything to me anymore. I am sick of feeling like this.

I just want it all to go a way so I can be happy. I can not wait to leave in August to get a new start and to get new friends that I will make sure to get to know very well before I let them know anything personal about me because first off I will NOT be stabbed in the back again by a so called friend or by family.

I guess since I haven't posted in a long time that it is ok if this one is really long. But I am starting to feel better, but I am sure some stupid crazy thing will come up so I will be back soon!

Love Always,
Danika

New Blog

My new blog is about all of the dimes I find from my angel in heaven and cute grandpa. Go to dimestoriesfromheaven.blogspot.com to check it out.